Making a Pig Fly

There are two major methods of making a pig fly.

The first is messing with genetics. This is very complex.

You take a bunch of genes out of a pig and put them into a bacteria, and you get a nice strand of DNA with all the pig stuff you want in the bacteria. Then you extract it from the bacteria and put it into a standard housefly population. Allow reproduction.

Some individuals should retain the pig DNA. You now have pig flies.

The second method is much more fun.

Take two pieces of wood and fashion them into wings. Use a method of your choice to attach these wings to the pig's back.

Next, secure rockets. The bigger, the better. Point them away from the pig's head and attach as appropriate.

Give the pig a running start for best results, then have the rockets go off. Make sure there's some upward thrust, but then the wings should take care of the rest.

If all goes well, the pig should now be flying.

High five!

A recent study on the language of touch in human interactions suggests that touch can express emotion more fully and more quickly than other forms of non-verbal communication.

It is important to note with this the universality of some non-verbal cues. An obvious example is punching someone in the face. This generally indicates anger. Generally. Certain facial expressions, such as smiling, are biologically programmed to correlate to emotions, not learned from our environment.

Over time, numerous studies have been run on the science of positive touch and performance in humans. It's been shown to make students volunteer more in their classes, to improve performance in the NBA, and prevent diarrhea.

Okay, I made that last one up. But I really wish I hadn't.

But the most interesting point is what a caring touch does chemically inside of our bodies. Something like a high five raises levels of oxytocin and lowers levels of cortisol. Oxytocin brings trust, while cortisol brings stress.

So are you feeling stressed? Go out and get yourself a high five.