Saturday, January 9, 2010

Round 1, Part 2

Next 7 matchups:
22 Grover Cleveland 37 Richard Nixon (Victor will be assigned number 9)

Richard Nixon was twice Vice President. Grover Cleveland had a bastard child and payed someone in order to dodge draft. I think Nixon is a clear winner here.

31 Herbert Hoover 44 Barack Obama (Victor will be assigned number 10)

Hoover provided vast amounts of aid overseas in World War I. His sheer amount of humanities experience shows a strong paternalistic foreign affairs agenda. There doesn't seem to be anything against him, except for no elected political experience.

Obama, on the other end, is an above average orator. He served as a senator. And he's black. We must be realistic. Black people, while generally Democratic anyway, are more likely to vote for a black candidate than a white one.

This could quite possibly be the closest election of this round. I have to say Hoover wins the popular vote, but Obama wins the election.

15 James Buchanan 27 William Taft (Victor will be assigned number 11)

I'll be completely honest. James Buchanan doesn't have a chance because while America is moving towards being homo-tolerant slowly, we're not far enough yet for a gay man to become president. Taft wins.

34 Dwight Eisenhower 13 Millard Fillmore (Victor will be assigned number 12)

Dwight Eisenhower was a military god, almost. He was courted by Republicans and Democrats alike to run for president. As much as I like Fillmore, he doesn't stand a chance. Eisenhower wins with a comfortable margin.

19 Rutherford Hayes 25 William McKinley (Victor will be assigned number 13)

The most interesting thing about this matchup is that Hayes and McKinley served together in the Civil War. Hayes was his superior, and twice promoted McKinley. They also both actively campaigned for the other politically at some point.

Their war service cancels out between the two. Hayes is best known for his ability to offend no one. McKinley is best known for high tariffs and siding with big business. In the current political atmosphere, McKinley's views just don't cut it. Hayes wins. And in a fair manner, with the popular vote on his side, no less.

38 Gerald Ford 7 Andrew Jackson (Victor will be assigned number 14)

This election almost has nothing to do with Gerald Ford. Andrew Jackson would shoot himself in the foot, just because he's a bit too extreme for the American people of today. He was a war hero, but he also seemed a bit too out on his own.

Gerald Ford wins by a large popular vote and small electoral vote.

29 Warren Harding 14 Franklin Pierce (Victor will be assigned number 15)

Warren Harding's greatest advantage is that he (under the opinion of many) just looks like a president. This appearance overcomes many shortcoming. (Think televised Nixon/Kennedy debates and how Nixon was said to have done better on radio than on television.) However, Harding was a real dark horse candidate and had only Ohio recognition. He also didn't put much effort into campaigning.

Pierce, another dark horse of his day, won his election mainly because he didn't take a strong stance on any issues. In today's world, this would never fly. People want to know what to expect.

Pierce is weaker than Harding, so Harding wins by a small margin. In fact, I think this matchup is the third party's best chance of winning a state.


Final matchups of Round 1 tomorrow.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Round 1

I apologize for any disappointment caused by the gods of the Internet not finding favor with me last night.

Keep in mind, we're assuming none of these men have yet been president, just for purposes of not making another ranking list, in disguise, and taking a fresher perspective as how these men would do in modern times.

1 George Washington 3 Thomas Jefferson (Victor will be assigned number 1)

This is an interesting battle. Two early politicians of America. Or wait... one politician and one other dude. George Washington never really got into the game of politics too much. Yes, he aligned himself with the Federalists, but he never had to campaign on a party platform or anything.

But then, Thomas Jefferson was a man of early politics. Could he really play the game of politics that much better than the Revolutionary War hero?

The answer, as evidenced by the stunningly modern, mud-slinging Election of 1800, is a resounding yes. Thomas Jefferson wins by out-campaigning and out-slandering Washington.

21 Chester Arthur 9 William Harrison (Victor will be assigned number 2)

From Wikipedia: "In the wake of the [economic depression], [opponent] was widely unpopular, and Harrison, following Andrew Jackson's strategy, ran as a war hero and man of the people while presenting [opponent] as a wealthy snob living in luxury at the public expense. Although Harrison was comfortably wealthy and well educated, his “log cabin” image caught fire, sweeping all sections of the country.

Harrison avoided campaigning on the issues, with his Whig Party a broad coalition with few common ideals."

Let's be honest, War Hero Harrison could campaign very similarly against Chester Arthur. The latter is known for 80 pairs of pants that he'd change multiple times a day.

However, Chester Arthur may have an edge campaigning on the issues. Since we assume he's already nominated, we can assume he goes into president mode. He wasn't the best man as veep, but as president he rose above parties.

Rising above parties would appeal to the people of the country, who seem to dislike extreme partisanship and favor "reaching across the aisle" in today's world. Chester also appeals to blacks because of his strides in civil rights. Chester Arthur wins by a small margin.

42 Bill Clinton 23 Benjamin Harrison (Victor will be assigned number 3)

Okay, Benjamin Harrison didn't even win the popular vote in his day. He then proceeded to lose to Grover Cleveland in a second election. I think it's pretty clear that Bill Clinton wins, seeing as we're assuming the Lewinsky deal hasn't happened.

16 Abraham Lincoln 26 Theodore Roosevelt (Victor will be assigned number 4)

Interesting matchup again. Two of the (generally considered) top 5 presidents. Abraham Lincoln is notable for losing multiple elections, and only winning 1 prior to presidency. What's the issue? He's known for great speeches. Is he just outmatched, unattractive to voters, or something intangible?

Theodore Roosevelt is a dynamic man who gives uprising speeches and seems to overcome nearly any obstacle, almost without regard to its size. San Juan Hill was him leading a cavalry unit without its horses and still winning. He beat an incumbent president as a third party candidate later in his career. He beat asthma to a pulp.

While the two are technically pretty close in their popularity (with the United States) at their times, TR's views are more modern. "Save the Union" may not be a great platform anymore, and honestly, Lincoln isn't notable for having views on foreign policy or anything pertinent in today's world. Plus TR wins in the intangibles. TR wins in a landslide.

20 James Garfield 8 Martin Van Buren (Victor will be assigned number 5)

All signs point to James Garfield being a relatively strong president. Martin Van Buren, not so much. In our current state, America picks the more dynamic, and Garfield wins. With a more comfortable victory than he had in 1880.

32 Franklin Roosevelt 18 Ulysses Grant (Victor will be assigned number 6)

A cripple vs. a drunk.

America takes the cripple.

40 Ronald Reagan 28 Woodrow Wilson (Victor will be assigned number 7)

Ronald Reagan is just too popular and too charismatic to lose to Wilson.

30 Calvin Coolidge 41 George H. W. Bush (Victor will be assigned number 8)

Calvin Coolidge is most famous for being quiet and answering no to multiple questions followed by "Now remember, don't quote me." He'd never win an election today.

Bush the Elder takes a victory, with a close electoral vote but popular vote landslide, nearing LBJ's landslide victory.




The next 7 matchups will be examined tomorrow.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Re: Rankings update

I am sorry to say that today my internet has been down, and henceforth cannot update the presidential rankings and reasons. How am I posting this then, you ask? Because i have a crazy awesome friend. Come back tomorrow to see any updates.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

President Super Tournament: Announcement

Today we announce the matchups for the first round of the brand-spanking new President Super Tournament. The Chief Executives match up mano a mano to see who would be more likely to win an election, solely based on their ideology and track record.

The matchups for the first round are as follows:

1 George Washington 3 Thomas Jefferson
21 Chester Arthur 9 William Harrison
42 Bill Clinton 23 Benjamin Harrison
16 Abraham Lincoln 26 Theodore Roosevelt
20 James Garfield 8 Martin Van Buren
32 Franklin Roosevelt 18 Ulysses Grant
40 Ronald Reagan 28 Woodrow Wilson
30 Calvin Coolidge 41 George H. W. Bush
22 Grover Cleveland 37 Richard Nixon
31 Herbert Hoover 44 Barack Obama
15 James Buchanan 27 William Taft
34 Dwight Eisenhower 13 Millard Fillmore
19 Rutherford Hayes 25 William McKinley
38 Gerald Ford 7 Andrew Jackson
29 Warren Harding 14 Franklin Pierce
17 Andrew Johnson 12 Zachary Taylor
35 John Kennedy 2 John Adams
36 Lyndon Johnson 43 George W. Bush
10 John Tyler 33 Harry Truman
5 James Monroe 11 James Polk
4 James Madison 6 John Quincy Adams
24 BYE 39 Jimmy Carter

I used a "random sequence generator" to create these matchups. The first 8 matchups will be explored in tomorrow's post. The blog will be dedicated to this tournament until a victor is found.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Presidential Polonaise

You probably know "Hail to the Chief."

What song could be more appropriate for the President of the United States?

Songs adapted from the Scots are, after all, extremely American and every president (at least since John Tyler, when the song was first used for the president) accepted the song.

Every president except Chester Arthur.

When Arthur learned of the origins of the song, he asked John Philip Sousa to write an alternative tune.

Sousa responded with the "Presidential Polonaise." Here is a link for your listening pleasure. The polonaise is a Polish musical style in 3/4 time. However Sousa manages to give the song a more Spanish feel. It's designed to keep people moving through the White House.

The song was first performed in 1886, both after Arthur's term and his death. The song did not last and "Hail to the Chief" quickly returned as the song of the presidents. It's a shame, really. "Presidential Polonaise" is an enjoyable tune and had great potential.

Instead, history continues to try and erase Chester Arthur from the minds of Americans.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Song Review: "The Presidents" by Jonathan Coulton

Link to the Song

Lyrics:

Washington came first and he was perfect.
John Adams kept us out of war with France.
Jefferson made Louisiana Purchase.
In 1812 James Madison kicked the British in the pants.

James Monroe told Europe they could suck it.
John Quincy Adams looked just like his dad.
Andrew Jackson got rid of all the Indians.
Van Buren served one term, but he wasn't bad.

William Henry Harrison died early.
John Tyler annexed Texas from Mexico.
James K. Polk fought Mexico to keep it.
Taylor was a Mexican War hero.

Fillmore gave a boat to Commodore Perry.
Pierce repealed the Missouri Compromise.
Buchanan saw the Civil War's beginnings.
Lincoln saved the Union, then he died.

Andrew Johnson just survived impeachment.
General Grant enjoyed a drink or two.
Rutherford B. Hayes ended Reconstruction.
Garfield was assassinated in 1882.

Arthur suspended Chinese immigration.
Cleveland made the railroad people squirm.
Harrison signed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act.
Grover Cleveland served another term.

McKinley kicked the Spanish out of Cuba.
Roosevelt was handy with a gun.
Taft was big and fat and had a mustache.
Wilson kicked some ass in World War I.

Harding said "Let's Laissez Faire with business."
Coolidge made the roaring 20s roar.
Hoover screwed the pooch in the Great Depression.
Roosevelt beat the Nazis in the war.

Truman dropped the bomb on Hiroshima.
Eisenhower kept the Commies well in hand.
Kennedy was killed by a magic bullet.
Johnson murdered kids in Vietnam.

Nixon was a sweating, filthy liar.
Ford gave Nixon pardon for his crimes.
Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts.
Reagan won the Cold War, and lost his mind.

George Bush Sr. poked at Saddam Hussein.
Clinton gave an intern a cigar.
W's legacy's a work in progress.
That is all the Presidents so far.

In the year 2005 we're out of money.
Somewhere, surely, freedom's on the march.
I don't like to make political statements.


This song, first and foremost, is appealing to the ear. It's important for a song to sound good.

Lyrically some of the things Coulton says about the presidents are worthless, incorrect, or I just don't like them.

Most egregiously, he says James Garfield was assassinated in 1882. He was assassinated in 1881. How this error made it into the song just baffles me. You have to do the research.

Surely there's something better to say about John Quincy Adams than him looking like his dad. Plus I don't think they even look remotely similar. I mean, JQA is an ugly man, but his father looks pretty alright for the times.

Arthur did suspend Chinese immigration, but the bill had come up at least once prior to his presidency only to be vetoed. He also vetoed it himself once, signing it only after the term of no Chinese immigrants was halved.

Maybe I just wasn't alive during Carter's administration and am missing the joke, but "Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts?" On one hand, it captures the way no one took him seriously, but on the other why not come up with some fact about him?

The song isn't all bad though, the line about James Madison kicking the British in the pants, while leaving out that America was also kicked in the pants, is probably the best line in the song. "Reagan won the Cold War and lost his mind" is a close runner-up.

Overall, this is a pretty good song, and would be a great way to just get a quick tidbit about all the presidents into a young audience.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Recognition of the Presidents

Here, have some interaction, rather than just reading.

This is a quiz where you name as many presidents as you can within 10 minutes, last names suffice. When you're done, you can view data about what percentage of the quiz takers got each president correct and other such data. This blog will be about said data.

Quiz: Linkage

From the quiz, after being taken 1,881,862 times, here is the listing of presidents, in order of their recognition percentage.
1 George Washington 98%
2 George W. Bush 96.3%
3 George H. W. Bush 95.8%
4 Bill Clinton 94.4%
5 Abraham Lincoln 93.7%
6 John Adams 92.4%
7 JFK 91.9%
8 John Quincy Adams 91.6%
9 Richard Nixon 90.8%
10 Franklin Roosevelt 90.6%
11 (tie) Theodore Roosevelt 90.4%
11 (tie) Thomas Jefferson 90.4%
13 Ronald Reagan 89.6%
14 Lyndon Johnson 86%
15 (tie) Andrew Johnson 85.8%
16 (tie) Jimmy Carter 85.8%
17 Gerald Ford 82.6%
18 Andrew Jackson 81.4%
19 Dwight D Eisenhower 79.6%
20 James Madison 78.1%
21 Herbert Hoover 76.4%
22 James Monroe 76%
23 Harry S Truman 74.5%
24 William Taft 74%
25 Ulysses S Grant 73.8%
26 William Henry Harrison 70.9%
27 Benjamin Harrison 70.3%
28 Grover Cleveland 69.8%
29 Woodrow Wilson 69.7%
30 James K Polk 67.8%
31 Barack Obama 67.2%
32 Calvin Coolidge 66.8%
33 John Tyler 64.6%
34 James Garfield 64.5%
35 William McKinley 64%
36 Zachary Taylor 63.3%
37 Martin Van Buren 62.5%
38 Millard Fillmore 57.9%
39 James Buchanan 57.6%
40 Warren Harding 56.4%
41 Franklin Pierce 56.1%
42 Chester Arthur 55%
43 Rutherford B Hayes 53.3%

There are a few things I notice about this list. First thing is Barack Obama's being low on it. But this can probably be explained by the quiz adding him in after 30ish percent of the people already took it, so cast this aside from your mind.

The next thing I personally notice is Chester Arthur being second to last. I'm disappointed at this, but not surprised. There's probably not 100 people in America who find Chester Arthur to be their favorite president.

William Henry Harrison has over 70% recognition and is 26th on the list. What did this man do? He died within a month of inauguration. He also gave the longest inaugural speech. But I'm thinking the majority of this recognition is due to the former. It's unfair to men like Pierce, Arthur, and Hayes, that William Henry Harrison who didn't do anything is more highly recognized than they are. Hayes may not have been a very good president, nor Pierce, but at least they did something. Arthur is generally underappriciated anyway, but I won't go off on a tangent about him.

Interestingly, George Washington is number 1, but Abraham Lincoln falls behind the Bush's and Clinton. This tells me that there are likely a number of people who know the recent presidents (within their adult life) and the first, but not even the other important ones like the Roosevelt's and Lincoln.

Other than that, there's not much to glean from this information. The more famous presidents understandably get more recognition than Gilded Age and pre-Civil War post-Missouri Comprimise presidents.