Making a Pig Fly

There are two major methods of making a pig fly.

The first is messing with genetics. This is very complex.

You take a bunch of genes out of a pig and put them into a bacteria, and you get a nice strand of DNA with all the pig stuff you want in the bacteria. Then you extract it from the bacteria and put it into a standard housefly population. Allow reproduction.

Some individuals should retain the pig DNA. You now have pig flies.

The second method is much more fun.

Take two pieces of wood and fashion them into wings. Use a method of your choice to attach these wings to the pig's back.

Next, secure rockets. The bigger, the better. Point them away from the pig's head and attach as appropriate.

Give the pig a running start for best results, then have the rockets go off. Make sure there's some upward thrust, but then the wings should take care of the rest.

If all goes well, the pig should now be flying.