4 weeks*

...of daily posts is enough.

Expect 4 a week, 3 regular posts and the Saturday Presidential Ranking updates.


*Even if it's a couple of days short.

Half-Breeds and Stalwarts

The Republicans of the late 1870s and 1880s were divided into two factions, the half-breeds and the stalwarts. These two groups were considered political enemies. They faught bitterly to get their candidates nominated over the opposing faction's candidates. They saught to block the platform of the other faction. When one faction was nominated as president, the other was necessarily VP nominated to satisfy the other faction.

And this was all over a single issue.

If such bitterness arises over one thing, in this case the spoils system, then how can a party stand? If the current Democrats became so broken up over healthcare that they became factionized, all they would do is hurt their own party. They still have the same overall agenda, but they decide that oh this one issue is supreme and if we can't agree on that we can't be friends anymore.

It's really stupid to factionize in this way, and it just makes it all the more important that Chester Arthur rose above factions in his day.

Presidential Ranking v1.1.2

This is a lot tougher than I anticipated. I didn't change any positions this week. I probably won't next week either. The goal for next week is to have some pros and cons for each man.

42. James Buchanan
Pro: Is there any?
Con: Bleeding Kansas, possibly the Dred Scott Case, didn't do anything to prevent the Civil War...
41. Andrew Johnson
Pro: Reconstruction Plan was similar to Lincoln's idea, had the balls to stand up to Congress when they imposed upon executive powers
Con: Refused to compromise with Congress, subverted Congressional Acts with nearly unconditional pardoning of Confederates
40. Franklin Pierce
Pro: Perry Expedition to Japan, Gadsden Purchase
Con: Kansas-Nebraska Act (repealing Missouri Compromise), allowed Bleeding Kansas to bleed
39. William Howard Taft
Pro: Trustbusting, Worked for World Peace (arbitration with Britain and France, attempted with Canada)
Con: Payne-Aldrich Tariff, did not enforce 15th Amendment, allowed Jim Crow laws and lynching of blacks
38. Herbert Hoover
Pro:
Con: Great Depression
37. Jimmy Carter
Pro:
Con:
36. William Henry Harrison
Pro:
Con: Died pretty darn fast, never in office while Congress was in session
35. Millard Fillmore
Pro:
Con:
34. Warren Harding
Pro:
Con:
33. Zachary Taylor
Pro: Wasn't concerned about his party's platform
Con: Apathetic about politics
32. Ulysses S. Grant
Pro:
Con: Cabinet partook in much scandal
31. Rutherford B. Hayes
Pro: Civil Service Reform
Con: Allowed Reconstruction to end?, sent troops to put down B&O strike
30. George W. Bush
Pro:
Con: Iraq
29. John Adams
Pro:
Con: Almost totally disliked by the people of his time
28. John Quincy Adams
Pro:
Con:
27. Richard Nixon
Pro: Good at getting his agenda across
Con: 'Nam, Watergate
26. Benjamin Harrison
Pro:
Con:
25. Gerald Ford
Pro:
Con:
24. John Tyler
Pro: Set the precedent of VP becoming president in the case of the chief executive's death
Con:
23. Grover Cleveland
Pro:
Con:
22. James Garfield
Pro: Was to be strong in Civil Service Reform, with the Half-Breed platform
Con: Didn't get to be strong in this because he was assassinated
21. Calvin Coolidge
Pro:
Con:
20. George H. W. Bush
Pro:
Con:
19. Chester Arthur
Pro: Pendleton Civil Service Act
Con: Chinese Exclusion Act
18. Martin Van Buren
Pro:
Con:
17. Bill Clinton
Pro: Good economic times (large surplus), didn't screw it up
Con: Monica Lewinsky
16. James Madison
Pro: Well we did win the War of 1812
Con:
15. William McKinley
Pro:
Con:
14. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Pro: Highway system
Con: Perceived as not active in the office
13. James Polk
Pro:
Con:
12. James Monroe
Pro: Monroe Doctrine
Con:
11. Ronald Reagan
Pro: Major steps to end the Cold War
Con:
10. Woodrow Wilson
Pro: He kept us out of war
Con: ...for a while
9. John F Kennedy
Pro: Could be a leader without just acting out of his gut, Cuban Missile Crisis
Con: Perhaps more about his image than most presidents
8. Lyndon Johnson
Pro: Civil Rights Act of 1964
Con: Continued sending troops to Vietnam
7. Harry Truman
Pro:
Con:
6. Thomas Jefferson
Pro:
Con:
5. Andrew Jackson
Pro: Really took charge and led the country like a man, helped make the veto what it is today (policy-based, not Constitutionally-based)
Con: Occasionally subverted the Supreme Court
4. Franklin Roosevelt
Pro: Master of pushing his agenda, New Deal
Con: Attempt to add judges to the Supreme Court, Japanese Intermittent Camps, 3rd and 4th terms (though he wasn't the only to attempt a third)
3. Theodore Roosevelt
Pro: Environmentalism, Beginning of Trustbusting
Con: Only broke trusts he felt were bad
2. George Washington
Pro: Set the stage for every freaking president with so many precedents and interpretations of the Constitution
Con:
1. Abraham Lincoln
Pro: Managed to free the slaves and get through the Civil War
Con: *Possibly* may have had a Reconstruction mindset like Johnson, took too many unconstitutional pathways in the Civil War?

The Gettysburg Address

"Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth
on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and
dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing
whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so
dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-
field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of
that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave
their lives that this nation might live. It is altogether
fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate…we cannot
consecrate…we cannot hallow…this ground. The brave men,
living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it
far above our poor power to add or detract. The world
will little note nor long remember what we say here, but
it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the
living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished
work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly
advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the
great task remaining before us…that from these honored
dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here
highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain;
that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of
freedom; and that government of the people, by the people,
for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Abraham Lincoln is quite possibly the foil to William Henry Harrison. While Harrison felt a long speech could show his strength, Abraham Lincoln just had a knack for relatively short speeches. He has the shortest inaugural address of any president, and of course his famous Gettysburg Address. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it is also the heart of lasting strength. Lincoln's speech at Gettysburg, a time fourscore and seven years after the founding of the nation endures in memory and has as much meaning eleven score and thirteen years after the founding of the nation.


But, while I greatly respect Lincoln for this, I did not make this blog for him.


Oliver Jensen rewrote the Gettysburg Address as Dwight David Eisenhower would have given it:

"I haven’t checked these figures but 87 years ago, I think it was, a number of individuals organized a governmental set-up here in this country, I believe it covered certain Eastern areas, with this idea they were following up based on a sort of national independence arrangement and the program that every individual is just as good as every other individual. Well, now, of course, we are dealing with this big difference of opinion, civil disturbance you might say, although I don’t like to appear to take sides or name any individuals, and the point is naturally to check up, by actual experience in the field, to see whether any governmental set-up with a basis like the one I was mentioning has any validity and find out whether that dedication by those early individuals will pay off in lasting values and things of that kind. . . . But if you look at the over-all picture of this, we can’t pay any tribute – we can’t sanctify this area, you might say – we can’t hallow according to whatever individual creeds or faiths or sort of religious outlooks are involved like I said about this particular area. It was those individuals themselves, including the enlisted men, very brave individuals, who have given the religious character to the area. The way I see it, the rest of the world will not remember any statements issued here but it will never forget how these men put their shoulders to the wheel and carried this idea down the fairway. Now frankly, our job, the living individuals’ job here is to pick up the burden and sink the putt they made these big efforts here for. It is our job to get on with the assignment – and from these deceased fine individuals to take extra inspiration, you could call it, for the same theories about the set-up for which they made such a big contribution. We have to make up our minds right here and now, as I see it, that they didn’t put out all that blood, perspiration and – well – that they didn’t just make a dry run here, and that all of us here, under God, that is, the God of our choice, shall beef up this idea about freedom and liberty and those kind of arrangements, and that government of all individuals, by all individuals and for the individuals, shall not pass out of the world-picture."

Yeah, not quite as powerful.

Obligatory Thanksgiving Day Post

"Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness. Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be. That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks, for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation, for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war, for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed, for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us. And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord. To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best. Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789."

George Washington proclaimed this on October 3, 1789.



Seperation of Church and State, my ass.

Chester Arthur is special

...and not just for his facial hair. He's the only president to have no animals while in the White House.

There were some interesting animals over the years. Jefferson had bear cubs. John Quincy Adams had alligators. Badass Andrew Jackson had fighting cocks.

I can understand the idea of having a dog, like Bo Obama, or a cat. But Teddy Roosevelt had at least 25 animals. Is it really necessary to have a one legged rooster, TR? Really?

I was amazed by the media surrounding the First Family of Obama as they were picking out a dog. War in Iraq? I haven't heard about it. But did you hear that Obama got a Portugese Water Dog? I know, I expected a Chesapeake Bay Retriever in honor of TR's "Sailor Boy."

Presidents have the right to have a nice family pet. But the media needs to learn the world doesn't depend on it. And the First Families need to keep it under control. The president doesn't need to become like the crazy cat lady, except instead of cats they have alligators, badgers, cows, duikers, and all this other crazy stuff.

John Tyler (1841-1845)

John Tyler is the man with the shortest Vice Presidency (31 days) and the most children of any president (15 plus possible mulatto children).

He also was probably the biggest side-changer (at least 2, possibly 3).

Prior to being nominated for VP by the Whigs, he was a Jacksonian Democrat. But some policies made him decide to ally with the Whigs. And so in 1836 he was a VP nominee for the Whigs, and in 1840 he won the Vice Presidency with William Henry Harrison.

Harrison died quickly, and Tyler made the bold move of becoming a full president, not acting. He did some stuff, including annex Texas and help make the veto evolve into not a Constitutional matter, but instead a matter of policy. His actions were more Democratic than Whig, so the latter group kicked him out of their party.

By this point, he's been a Democrat and a Whig and been thrown out to be on his own.

The really cool side change to remember about Tyler is the one where he joined the Confederates.

That's right. During the Civil War, he sided with the CSA. And he was a Sworn Enemy of the United States. No other president became a sworn enemy of the US. Some of the things Andrew Johnson did as president made him seem like an enemy, but he wasn't officially an enemy.


I honestly don't care too much about Tyler's policies, nothing can top the leader of our country becoming an enemy. Granted, he died January 18, 1962, so he didn't really do anything as a rebel, but imagine if Texas seceded and faught the US, with the support of George Bush. That's the rough equivalent. And damn that just sounds so cool.

Don't Lynch Me

What do Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Harding, and Barack Obama have in common?

Correct, they were all presidents, but that should be pretty evident, looking at the title of the entire blog. In addition, according to J.A. Rogers, they are all of African descent.

In his book from the 1960s, The Five Negro Presidents, Rogers gives information on the first four men, as well as Hannibal Hamlin (15th Vice President) and Alexander Hamilton, suggesting that they all have Africans in their geneology.

Honestly, I haven't read the 19 page book, nor do I plan on purchasing it to do so. The jury is split as to the validity of the claims made about these men. Some believe it to be factual, some believe it to be less so.

Now, what does this mean for Barack? Does he have to take this book off the market, remove it from memories, and censor all information sources Rogers used?

First, no he doesn't because how many people are actually going to hear about this? Not many. And how many would believe it anyway? Even less.

Second, this doesn't change the fact that Barack is visibly black. None of the other men appeared to be black, though it is said some had a dark complexion. Regardless, a dark complexion is still white.

Lastly, what does it matter if Barack isn't the first black president or even if he was just a white guy? Would his policies change? Would he suddenly not be considered Messiah by some and Satan by others? Of course not!





I really just like to justify Andrew Jackson's badassness as a possible side effect of being black.

Presidential Ranking v1.1.1

No actual changes to the list itself, just starting to add pros and cons to each president. At this point, it's all from my memory, next week (which will hopefully become version 2.0.2) should have some more research.

42. James Buchanan
Pro: Is there any?
Con: Bleeding Kansas, possibly the Dred Scott Case, didn't do anything to prevent the Civil War...
41. Andrew Johnson
Pro: Reconstruction Plan was similar to Lincoln's idea, had the balls to stand up to Congress when they imposed upon executive powers
Con: Refused to compromise with Congress, subverted Congressional Acts with nearly unconditional pardoning of Confederates
40. Franklin Pierce
Pro:
Con:
39. William Howard Taft
Pro: Trustbusting
Con:
38. Herbert Hoover
Pro:
Con: Great Depression
37. Jimmy Carter
Pro:
Con:
36. William Henry Harrison
Pro:
Con: Died pretty darn fast
35. Millard Fillmore
Pro:
Con:
34. Warren Harding
Pro:
Con:
33. Zachary Taylor
Pro:
Con: Apathetic about politics
32. Ulysses S. Grant
Pro:
Con: Cabinet partook in much scandal
31. Rutherford B. Hayes
Pro:
Con:
30. George W. Bush
Pro:
Con:
29. John Adams
Pro:
Con: Almost totally disliked by the people of his time
28. John Quincy Adams
Pro:
Con:
27. Richard Nixon
Pro: Good at getting his agenda across
Con: 'Nam, Watergate
26. Benjamin Harrison
Pro:
Con:
25. Gerald Ford
Pro:
Con:
24. John Tyler
Pro:
Con:
23. Grover Cleveland
Pro:
Con:
22. James Garfield
Pro:
Con:
21. Calvin Coolidge
Pro:
Con:
20. George H. W. Bush
Pro:
Con:
19. Chester Arthur
Pro: Pendleton Civil Service Act
Con: Chinese Exclusion Act
18. Martin Van Buren
Pro:
Con:
17. Bill Clinton
Pro: Good economic times, didn't screw it up
Con: Monica Lewinsky
16. James Madison
Pro: Well we did win the War of 1812
Con:
15. William McKinley
Pro:
Con:
14. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Pro: Highway system
Con:
13. James Polk
Pro:
Con:
12. James Monroe
Pro: Monroe Doctrine
Con:
11. Ronald Reagan
Pro: Major steps to end the Cold War
Con:
10. Woodrow Wilson
Pro: He kept us out of war
Con: ...for a while
9. John F Kennedy
Pro: Could be a leader without just acting out of his gut, Cuban Missile Crisis
Con:
8. Lyndon Johnson
Pro: Civil Rights Act of 1964
Con:
7. Harry Truman
Pro:
Con:
6. Thomas Jefferson
Pro:
Con:
5. Andrew Jackson
Pro: Really took charge and led the country like a man
Con: Occasionally subverted the Supreme Court
4. Franklin Roosevelt
Pro: Master of pushing his agenda, New Deal
Con: Attempt to add judges to the Supreme Court
3. Theodore Roosevelt
Pro: Environmentalism, Beginning of Trustbusting
Con: Only broke trusts he felt were bad
2. George Washington
Pro: Set the stage for every freaking president with so many precedents and interpretations of the Constitution
Con:
1. Abraham Lincoln
Pro: Managed to free the slaves and get through the Civil War
Con: *Possibly* may have had a Reconstruction mindset like Johnson

Preliminary pros/cons. It'll be more extensive and thorough soon enough. No rush to get this done, right?




Today also marks the anniversary of the assassination of JFK. I don't know how I could possibly write on that, but I just want to acknowledge the man and honor him for what he did for our country.

What Would Chester Arthur Do? Immigration

(Presidential Rankings will be done tomorrow.)

In honor of Chester Arthur Awareness Day, a new feature begins! What would (President) Do?

Today we examine what Chester Arthur would do about immigrants, specifically Mexicans.

Chester Arthur's administration was the first to pass a general immigration law. In 1882, it excluded people in poverty, felons, and crazy people.

Congress at his time passed the Chinese Exclusion Act, preventing Chinese from immigrating into the US for a 20 year period. Arthur vetoed. Congress revised the bill to be a ten year period, and then it was renewable every decade. Arthur signed this version of the bill.

Clearly, Arthur doesn't have a problem with enacting laws that prevent some people from entering into the United States. The first law excluding paupers, criminals, and the insane doesn't too much apply to the Mexicans. However, it can be assumed there are criminals in Mexico, as well as poor people, and insane people. These groups, Arthur would likely try to legislate away. We know from experience that illegal immigration happens anyway and making it illegal for these groups to enter the United States would do little to nothing. Most Mexicans are coming over because they could be considered paupers anyway.

Arthur was not an initiator in the Chinese Exclusion Act, and at first vetoed it. But he was convinced to sign a watered-down version. As a result, it could be assumed that if the country has enough anti-Mexican sentiment to get a bill passed through Congress, Arthur would sign it as long as he didn't feel it was too strong or against any previous judicial or foreign relations decisions.

That's how the Gentleman President would handle it. The question becomes, would you vote for a candidate who would handle immigration in this way?

I Want to do Magic and Make a Pencil Disappear into my Head

"Hello next president. Do you want to make a change and better the U.S. Well if you do I think you should listen to what I'm going to write in this letter. The topics I will be talking to about are going to be the War in Iraq, abortion, and gas prices.

The first thing I am going to talk to you about is the war in Iraq. I think you should get the soldiers out and try to end the war. If you don't get the soldiers out you will cause even more deaths and you will cause the U.S. even more money and expenses. I also think if you don't end the war the Iraq's will attack and do something very deadly like send over a nuclear bomb.

The second topic I will be talking about is abortion. I think you should give people the right to choose whether or not they want to have their baby or not. I do think they have the right if they were raped or something of that matter. If they weren't raped and they decided to have the baby, but were having second thoughts about it and didn't want to go through with it, then I think it's a problem and you should do something about it.

The last topic I am going to be talking about is gas prices. I think you should lower the prices and if you don't people will all together stop buying gas and the sales will go very low. If you lower the prices people will buy more gas and in turn the sales would rise.

In conclusion of what I just wrote about, I think you should end the war, allow abortion in the right circumstances, and lower gas prices. I think if you would do all that stuff you would have a good 4 years. Maybe you will even get a second term."

Source:

I don't know what annoys me the most about this letter. I will now theorize about what I may dislike most about this letter. It could be the gas prices, the Iraq's, or the grammar and redundancy. I think what I may dislike about this letter could be the ignorant views on gas prices and all that stuff. That may be what I dislike. But it could also be the Iraq's because maybe we should not just take all the soldiers home. Then again if we leave people there with guns then a nuclear bomb will be sent to America. Lastly the final point I want to present in this paragraph is about poor grammar and redundancy in writing.

Okay I can't write like that any freaking longer, it's too pitiful. That's definitely the part that most annoys me.

I was trying to find if this was written to the winner of 2012 or the winner of 2008, but either way I did find out that it was written by a 13-18 year old.


Dear next President of the United States,

I am a concerned teenager of America. Please spend a significant portion of your budget on education. People appear to no longer be educated by the educational system and need education.

Do it or else I'll use lobbying power to get Iraq's on your ass with nukes.

Barack Obama (2009-)

"A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'"

Barack Obama is not God.

Barack Obama is not Satan.

Come up with a good compromise on him for now.

It works. It makes sense.

My Faith in Humanity is Restored

Today I was talking to a friend of mine after school. The lad doesn't say much, but I rather like him. I decided to ask him about his college search thus far, and found he'd like to major in either History or Archaeology. I don't know diddly about the latter, but I talked about the former.

This boy knew who Chester Arthur was.

I had never talked to him about Chet before, and honestly he didn't know anything about him. But unlike most people I've talked to, he at least knew the name and connected it with presidents. And then he actually asked about him so he could expand his knowledge.

Prior to this, I was speaking with a Latin teacher. We were talking about my college plans and got to how I was considering teaching History. Of course, this also led to mentions of the Gentleman President. This Latin teacher also knew the name and connected him to the presidency. He too asked about him.


Now this alone pretty much made my day, but then in doing research to try to come up with a topic, I came across . Go read the page.

Yep, that's right, the first other presidential oddity listed is about Chester Arthur's pants.


People are pretty alright.

How I work to raise Presidential Awareness

30 days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except February which has 28 except when it's a leap year and then it's 29 days and this whole February thing ruins the whole rhythm going on.

The first of the month is George Washington Appriciation Day. He's pretty well known though, so observance is limited.
The second of the month is John Adams Awareness Day.
The third of the month is Thomas Jefferson Awareness Day.

See a pattern?

Within each month, the day is assigned to the president holding the same number. The 24th may be used as a wild card, as Grover Cleveland already had the 22nd. In addition, if you want to raise awareness or appriciation of a president with a number higher than 31, you can extend a month to go on longer, for instance a friend celebrated George W. Bush Appriciation Day on October 43rd. However, this really defeats the purpose as more Americans will know presidents FDR and onward than Hoover and backward.

It all began one night, it was the 14th, when I decided that the next day would become James Buchanan Ranting Day. I firmly believe James Buchanan is the worst president we've ever had (See November 13th for an entry), and I wanted to spread the word. It followed that I should raise awareness of my favorite president, Chester Arthur, on the 21st (See the first entry ever).

And so Zachary Taylor, James Polk, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford Hayes, Warren Harding, Andrew Johnson, et al get a day to be in the limelight and have awareness raised of their successes and failings, their faults and their virtues.

And the American people are educated, one day and one president at a time.

The Electoral College

The Electoral College is a poorly designed system. Instead of allowing the people to directly vote for the chief executive, the people vote for electors that vote for the chief executive. Generally, these electoral votes represent the same majority as the popular vote. However, this is not so in 4 cases. The elections of 1824, 1876, 1888, and 2000 were lost by the man with the majority of popular votes.

The current system gives each electoral vote of a state to one candidate, regardless of their margin of victory in the state. Someone can get all of Maryland's 10 electoral votes with a margin of 1 million or 1 single vote.

There has been suggestion that this is overhauled so each Congressional District gives its electoral vote seperately. Then the 2 Senatorial Electoral votes of each state go to whomever wins the state as a whole.

This system is better, as it gives a lower level more power over the election.

But it's still not a perfect system. Conceivably, somewhere down the line, the popular vote majority would still not be for the same candidate as the electoral vote majority.

The only solution I have been able to come up with is to get back to the roots of democracy. Let the people vote for the president directly! We are accustomed to voting directly for our Senators. However, they were initially elected by elected officials the people had already put into office. It was not until the 19th Amendment that Senators were directly voted for.

We need to continue progressing as a country, and thus we need an amendment to the Constitution allowing direct election of the president. It is clearly and definitely the only truly fair way to go about our elections.

We interrupt this blog to bring you...

It was too funny to pass up.

Presidential Rankings v1.1

42. James Buchanan
41. Andrew Johnson
40. Franklin Pierce
39. William Howard Taft
38. Herbert Hoover
37. Jimmy Carter
36. William Henry Harrison
35. Millard Fillmore
34. Warren Harding
33. Zachary Taylor
32. Ulysses S. Grant
31. Rutherford B. Hayes
30. George W. Bush
29. John Adams
28. John Quincy Adams
27. Richard Nixon
26. Benjamin Harrison
25. Gerald Ford
24. John Tyler
23. Grover Cleveland
22. James Garfield
21. Calvin Coolidge
20. George H. W. Bush
19. Chester Arthur (though I'm probably still biased)
18. Martin Van Buren
17. Bill Clinton
16. James Madison
15. William McKinley
14. Dwight D. Eisenhower
13. James Polk
12. James Monroe
11. Ronald Reagan
10. Woodrow Wilson
9. John F Kennedy
8. Lyndon Johnson
7. Harry Truman
6. Thomas Jefferson
5. Andrew Jackson
4. Franklin Roosevelt
3. Theodore Roosevelt
2. George Washington
1. Abraham Lincoln

The main change in this version is near the top. I moved a couple of other presidents in the middle downward, shifting everyone else up a few, but no major changes as of yet.

I dread the day I put Chester Arthur where he probably belongs.

James Buchanan (1857-1861)

"I am now 'solitary and alone', having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them. I feel that it is not good for man to be alone, and [I] should not be astonished to find myself married to some old maid who can nurse me when I am sick, provide good dinners for me when I am well, and not expect from me any very ardent or romantic affection."

James Buchanan is the worst president the United States has ever seen. He's also likely gay (for his precessessor's Vice President, no less!). These two items, however, are uncorrelated.

I could go on a rant about Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy, but instead I think I'll stick to Buchanan's actual political moves that make him so horrible.

His term began with the Dred Scott decision. Days after his inaugural address, Chief Justice Taney made the decision, along with the Court, against Dred Scott and rendering null and void decades' worth of legislation keeping slavery in check. Buchanan has been theorized to have a hand in this case.

He was greatly in favor of slavery, and liked the idea of obtaining Cuba as a new slave state. He felt that both abolitionists and free-soil Republicans were the same.

But really, the most egrigious error of Buchanan's presidency is his admittance that states did not have the legal right to secede from the United States, but his unwillingness to do anything about their secession.

His term was all about putting wedges in between the Northerners and the Southerners, and he truly succeeded. If it were not for him, the Civil War may not have occurred. He was uncompromising on issues that favored slavery, he didn't do anything to help the fighting in "Bleeding Kansas," and he was too lazy to prevent a clearly approaching war.

In his memoirs, Buchanan said he thought history would view him more kindly than his contemporaries.

That sure worked out well.

Seperation of Church and State doesn't exist if the people don't want it to

Long title is long. But necessarily. I was reading a poll about certain aspects of a person that would affect a person's vote for president from 2007.

95% of Americans would vote for a Catholic. 45% would vote for an atheist. 53% would NOT vote for an atheist.

This raises the question of why. Are atheists inherently unable to fulfill the duties of the president? They might have trouble leading the nation's mandatory morning prayer and becoming a Catholic deacon so they can concelebrate a weekly Mass with all of the country's citizens invited. However, they would have no trouble taking care of war and foreign policy due to their religious lack of beliefs. Atheists can still work on health care reform, raising or lowering taxes, improving the highway system, et al.

The poll seems to suggest that people don't really want a separation of Church and State. Don't think an Amendment to the Constitution will be passed any time soon which revokes the religious portion of the First Amendment, but don't expect a non-Christian in the White House. And if you do, expect someone who believes in a god, such as a Jew. A de facto shunning of atheists as prominent politicians will exist as long as people consider their religion to be a major issue.

But then, what happens if Americans are faced with a decision between a clearly poor incumbent president whose approval ratings are below 20% and an atheist who seems to have solid views and a great plan for America? Would the people then decide to overlook the fact that the president might omit "under God" when he says the Pledge of Allegiance in order to vote for a better candidate?

The Vice President

"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?" ~John McCain

William Henry Harrison got the ball rolling in 1840 when he and John Tyler won the White House. Harrison tried to show that he was a stalwart, by giving a long inaugural speech in the rain. Everything was OK. That is, until Harrison croaked. (Geek points to anyone who catches all the references in the paragraph.)

At this point, it was unclear whether VP Tyler was meant to be an interim president and only act as that position, or if he was meant to become the new president for the rest of Harrison's term. Tyler chose the latter route, and Congress confirmed the decision. Since then, Vice Presidents have become president after a presidential passing. Millard Fillmore, Andrew Johnson, Chester Arthur, Theodore Roosevelt, Calvin Coolidge, Harry Truman, and Lyndon Johnson all became president in this way.

The Vice President also gets a vote in Senate if there is a tie. He doesn't get a vote under other circumstances.

So... That seems like a pretty easy job. As Will Rogers put it, “The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'” Thomas Marshall, VP to Woodrow Wilson, said, “Once there were two brothers: one ran away to sea, the other was elected Vice-President - and nothing was ever heard from either of them again.”

Now, let's think about our current Vice President, Joe Biden. Joe Biden is a friend to the middle class. Joe Biden thinks John McCain has terrible ideas for this country, but Joe Biden loves John McCain and wants to reach across the aisle to pass bipartisan legislation with John McCain. Joe Biden talks in third person too much.

But what has Joe Biden done lately? Anything political going on? I certainly haven't heard any mention of him unless he was making an appearance somewhere.

But while the vice presidency is pretty much worthless, that whole becoming president if the current one dies thing is somewhat significant. It was a contributing motive to Garfield's assassination, it bit bosses in the butt when McKinley was assassinated, and some people didn't vote for John McCain in 2008 because they were afraid Sarah Palin would become president if he died.

But more often than not, the vice president isn't worth a sack of dirt. Unless Obama dies in office, Joe Biden is unlikely to suddenly have a greater political career. But hey, for four years he gets paid to make sure the president hasn't died yet.

The Elections of 2008 and 1880

Obama haters in the election of 2008 came up with the wonderfully original and wonderfully valid idea to say that Obama had not been born on American soil and that he was thus ineligible to be president. Of course, this claims were extremely false, Obama produced proof that he was eligible, and all was good with the world.

Vice Presidential candidate of 1880, Chester A. Arthur was son of a Vermont woman and an Irish man. Arthur Hinman was hired to look into the circumstances of his birth. First he tried to claim Arthur was born in Ireland, and came to America as a teenager. Later he claimed Chet was born in Canada. Of course, these claims did not prevent Chester Arthur from taking the office after Garfield and he had won the election, no one took them too seriously.

Anybody see the parallel yet?

I knew of this connection the moment I heard about accusations against Obama's American-ness. But nobody else seemed to know. I was distraught that it didn't seem to come up whenever a news story about Obama possibly not being natural-born came up.

But one day, I did find a source that connected the two. Stephen Colbert. It took a parody of news to make a connection of present issues to a past event. Americans really need to learn their history as it's pertinent. I can understand the common citizen not knowing this right off the bat, but some experts should have come out and taken Obama and Arthur and showed the nation why the two men were connected through this event.


While I'm talking Obama/Arthur, Chester Arthur was the first President to have Native American in his blood. Many people believe Obama is the first president to have African in his blood. I don't buy it, but that's another blog.

Facial Hair

William Howard Taft is the last president to have facial hair in office. Between Lincoln and Taft (11 presidents), 9 presidents had a moustache and/or beard. Lincoln has quite possibly the most famous beard in America. Andrew Johnson was clean shaven. Ulysses S. Grant had an admirable beard. Rutherford B. Hayes has the undoubtedly best beard of all the presidents. James Garfield had a beard that isn't one to scoff at. Chester Arthur and his "Chester Arthur" or "Friendly Mutton Chops" probably forms the greatest facial hair of history. Grover Cleveland had a regular moustache. Benjamin Harrison had a hobo beard, but it worked for him. William McKinley was clean shaven. Theodore Roosevelt has his moustache, which looks much better than any other moustache I've seen. And lastly, Taft has his moustache as well. Before Lincoln's administration, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, and Zachary Taylor all had sideburns.

But since then, we haven't had a single president with any form of maintained facial hair. The closest we've gotten is Nixon and his persistent five o'clock shadow. Why can't a man just man up and grow a beard? You could even just be fashionable to our times and get a goatee, or a soul patch, or a neck beard! But come on, presidents! We need a new era of facial hair!

Perhaps we just need to restart the cycle. A president needs to go for some sideburns, then a couple other presidents will do the same later. And then before you know it WHAM era of Republican beards and Democrat moustaches. Or you can break down party lines this time, let everyone grow a beard, moustache, or friendly mutton chops as they desire, regardless of their political affiliation! In fact, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Article VII might just require this desegregation of facial hair.


On the off chance someone in the White House reads this:
Mr. Obama, you promised us change. Now stop being so conservative and give us a liberal dosage of facial hair!

Woodrow Wilson (1913-1921)

"[Wilson] was rapidly nearing that psychic land from which few travelers return, the land in which facts are the products of wishes, in which friends betray and in which an asylum chair may be the throne of God. ... He had promised [his countrymen] and the enemy and, indeed, all mankind a peace of absolute justice based upon his Fourteen Points." ~Sigmund Freud

Every American loves Woodrow Wilson. Why does every American love him? Well because every American loves April 15th, of course! That's right, Woodrow Wilson first instituted the income tax!

But that's really not what I want to talk about. It just came out sounding really good in my mind. That was probably one of my favorite paragraphs I've written lately. But I digress...

On August 6, 1914, Wilson's wife died of Bright's Disease. This is also what killed Chester A. Arthur. However I'm going on a tangent again. I just do so love being able to connect things to him.

Wilson followed his predecessors' (Theodore Roosevelt and William Taft) Trustbusting theory, but went about it in a new way. Instead of going to court, he worked to pass the Clayton Anti-Trust Act, called the Magna Carta of labor. He also passed other legislation that increased wages and cut working hours. So he did some good things for America. (Assuming you don't believe monopolies help America.)

Wilson also strongly supported segregation. DC streetcars and federal agencies were segregated, and mixing of races was completely outlawed within the nation's capital. Yeah, I didn't believe that the first time I learned it either. Mixing of races became ILLEGAL within the borders of Washington, DC.

However, Wilson was extremely good at being neutral when World War I broke out in Europe. For instance, when Great Britain decided to blockade Germany by making vast areas of water unsafe for not only beligerant ships, but also neutral ships, and also to fly the flags of neutral countries on its ships so Germany wouldn't attack them, Wilson let it slide, despite being against international agreements. However, when Germany decides to torpedo a beligerant ship with a few Americans on it, oh dear Jesus step out of Wilson's way, because he is coming for you.

The RMS Lusitania was such a beligerant ship. There were sufficient warnings to citizens by Germany to not board the ship because it could be torpedoed. Guess what happened next. Americans got on anyway and the ship was torpedoed. Wilson reacted by stubbornly asserting that Americans have the right to sail on ships of whatever country they want, regardless of its being in a war.

Imagine for a moment that two girls are feuding. One allegedly was the cause of the other's boyfriend breaking up with them or something like that. So the two girls are arguing. If you were to step in at this point and make a point for one girl, the other girl will clearly verbally assault you in return. This is the same principle. If you associate yourself with Britain as it fights Germany, Germany will assault you. Though physically. And lethally.

Later, after the Zimmermann telegram and German unrestricted submarine warfare, Wilson declared "a war to end all wars" and came up with his idealistic Fourteen Points. One Allied Power (and the technically non-Allied Power United States) victory later, Wilson compromises a few of his Points in the treaty talks, but still gets his main points through, including the League of Nations.

All's fine and dandy. But wait! He pulled an Andrew Johnson! He did something that Congress didn't at all like! His plan doesn't correlate with what they want! A Democrat put forth an uncompromising plan that a Republican Congress would not approve! (How this applies to Andrew Johnson as well is another blog.)

Wilson won the 1919 Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts with the Fourteen Points, but peace negotiation had been solely his baby. The Republicans of Congress had other ideas that Wilson would not adapt the treaty to. As a result, the League of Nations that Wilson had worked so hard to create was never joined by the USA. And World War I never really ended for us either.

Woodrow Wilson. He kept us out of war.
















All the mothers of America probably love him for starting Mother's Day though. *Cue groans of men across the country*

Preliminary Attempt at Presidential Rankings

42. James Buchanan
41. Andrew Johnson
40. Franklin Pierce
39. William Howard Taft
38. Herbert Hoover
37. Jimmy Carter
36. William Henry Harrison
35. Millard Fillmore
34. Warren Harding
33. Zachary Taylor
32. Ulysses S. Grant
31. Rutherford B. Hayes (Despite his most excellent facial hair)
30. John Adams
29. George W. Bush
28. Richard Nixon
27. John Quincy Adams
26. Benjamin Harrison
25. Gerald Ford
24. John Tyler
23. Grover Cleveland
22. James Garfield
21. Calvin Coolidge
20. George H. W. Bush
19. James Madison
18. Martin Van Buren
17. Bill Clinton
16. Chester Arthur (though I'm probably biased)
15. William McKinley
14. James Polk
13. James Monroe
12. John Kennedy
11. Dwight Eisenhower
10. Ronald Reagan
9. Woodrow Wilson
8. Lyndon Johnson
7. Harry Truman
6. Andrew Jackson
5. Franklin Roosevelt
4. Thomas Jefferson
3. Theodore Roosevelt
2. George Washington
1. Abraham Lincoln


Very preliminary. I'll update the list next Saturday, and the Saturday after that, and the Saturday after that, until I'm satisfied with the listing.

Barack Obama is unrankable because he hasn't even finished his term.

Assassinations: Part 2

Charles Guiteau was the assassin of James Garfield. He gave a couple of speeches in New York, after substituting Garfield's name in for the originial Stalwart favorite candidate, Former President Ulysses S. Grant. He then got the idea that when Garfield/Arthur won the election, it was due to his efforts. And with the spoils system of the time, Guiteau CLEARLY deserved a consulship for his CLEARLY influential and CLEARLY extremely important efforts.

Guiteau moved to the nation's capital, because the Republican party and Garfield were forever in his debt. He wasn't showered with honor after honor, so he began to write far too many letters to Garfield and Secretary of State Blaine trying to secure a consulship to Paris. He was ignored and felt cheated, so he began planning to kill the president.

So Guiteau went out and bought a pistol, largely based upon how good it looked, choosing an ivory handle over a wooden one. He assumed it would end up in a museum as "the gun that killed Garfield." (Funny thing is, the Smithsonian lost it.) He aborted a few attempts, but eventually went through with the entire thing on July 2, 1881.

Garfield and political friends arrived at the Baltimore & Potomac Railroad Station in the morning. There were many people in the station, and they hurried towards their train. Guiteau stepped out of the crowd and shot Garfield twice. One grazes his arm. "My God, what is this?" The second gets stuck in his spine. Guiteau tried to leave to get into the cab he previously asked to take him to jail, but he was arrested. (The arresting officer failed to take his gun until they reached the station. We'll leave Patrick Kearney nameless so no one knows who was such an idiot.)

Guiteau's famous line is, "I am a Stalwart of the Stalwarts! I did it and I want to be arrested! Arthur is President now!" However, Arthur was not yet president. Garfield didn't die. A primitive air conditioner was created to keep him cool through the summer, and Alexander Graham Bell invented a metal detector specifically for the purpose of trying to locate the bullet in Garfield. It failed to work because the bed he was on had metal springs.

You see, there was no real reason to dig out that bullet, but doctors stuck their dirty hands into the president's back time and time again. The idiot doctors of the time killed him, just because they were trying to find a bullet that he probably could have survived with. Garfield finally died on September 19, 1881, and the "Stalwart of the Stalwarts" had gotten Chester Arthur to be president.

Guiteau's trial was most interesting, as he brought to court with him shenanigans and buffoonery. He asked people watching for advice, spoke out against his defense attorney, sang to the court, and claimed the doctors were the true murderers of Garfield.

Well the last part wasn't so far off.

But the antics of Charles Guiteau could not save him, and he was hung in June of 1882.

He had thought he'd go down in history with everyone knowing his name... Go ask someone who Charles Guiteau is and you'll see how well that went for him.



I actually put more work into this assessment of Guiteau than I did in my final project for AP US History. So this must be worth like 110%!

Assassinations: Part 1

Earlier today I was fretting a bit, because it was day 2 of having this blog and I didn't have a clue what to talk about today. I finally settled on the Election of 1880, but then I was considering how to work in the assassination of Garfield and such and well long sentence and thought process short, I decided to discuss 2 assassination attempts.

First, and chronologically last, is the attempt on Theodore Roosevelt's life in 1912 as he was running as a candidate for the Progressive (Bull Moose) Party, when he failed to recieve the Republican nomination. At this point in time, TR already managed to show how badass he was. He shot stuff, he led a group of horseless cavalry to take a hill, and he busted up some trusts. But then he was campaigning for a third term (prior to the 22nd Amendment, of course) and giving a speech in Milwaukee when a man named John Schrank fired a gun at him. Schrank was aiming at Roosevelt's head, but a bystander deflected the gun and the bullet hit him in the chest. It passed through 50 pages, folded, and his glasses case, but still lodged 3 inches deep.

Teddy didn't know that he was shot until someone else pointed out the bullethole in his coat. Badass.

He went on to give the speech anyway, before going to a hospital and not dying. The assassination attempt failed, as did the campaign. But that's another blog.


Second is the attempt on Andrew Jackson's life. It is important to the tale to recall that the badassness of Andrew Jackson surpasses that of TR. Without trouble. On January 30, 1835, Jackson was leaving a funeral that had taken place in the capital when Richard Lawrence stepped out and attempted to shoot him with a pistol, but it misfired. Lawrence pulled out a second pistol which also misfired. A beatdown was then put upon his ass by the president himself. No declaration of war from Congress required.

Later the pistols were tested to determine what went wrong. They never failed again, so people of the time said Jackson was protected by Providence, just like the nation. In modern terms, "THANKS BE TO NONDENOMINATIONAL DEITY (OR LACK THEREOF) FOR SAVING THE PRESIDENT!" Other people theorize that humidity caused the pistols to fail.

The fact of the matter is, the bullets were just as afraid of Andrew Jackson as everyone else.






Part 2 tomorrow, featuring Charles Guiteau!

Chester Alan Arthur, 1881-1885

"I don't think we had better go into the minute secrets of the campaign, so far as I know them, because I see the reporters are present, who are taking it all down. If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the truth."

Chester Alan Arthur is without a doubt my favorite president.  Yes, out of all 43 of them.  Yes, I prefer him over TR, Lincoln, and Washington.  Almost everyone who has ever heard me say that I like him has considered it to be a big joke.  That "almost everyone" includes the man who taught me AP US History, some of my closest friends, and... well just about everyone except my little sister who I personally taught about presidents.  And so what better way to spend a night on the Internet then finally and formally defending my boy Chet?

Arthur is without a doubt not the greatest president of all time.  He isn't even close.  But a person's favorites are not always the best.  There are fans of the Baltimore Orioles, the Detroit Lions, and Boris Said, why not Chester Arthur?

Let's get this point out of the way.  Chester Arthur can be very funny.  I've heard a comment that he looks like a tuskless walrus.  I looked at a picture again and chuckled to myself as I realized it was true.  There's also something to be said for his facial hair.  I really wish we could get some good presidental facial hair now, but that's another blog.  The man had 80 pairs of pants.  Not only did he have 80 pairs of pants, but he often changed pants more than once in a single day.  All of this is information worth laughing at.  And yes, it does help me call him my favorite.  Who would want a boring old not funny president for their favorite?

Now we come to some actual facts about what the man did.  He was the son of Irish-born and Vermont-born parents in 1829.  (Over 40 years later he changed some records to make himself seem a year younger.  Mid-life crisis?)  He was a lawyer who helped bring forth some decisions for blacks' rights and anti-slavery in New York prior to his presidency, and was eventually appointed Collector of the Port of New York by President Grant.

Here's where it gets interesting.  Many people in this position prior to Chester were often working in ways that were... well they were doing things that were illegal.  Arthur was removed from this position by the next president, Rutherford B. Hayes, in Hayes' attempt to combat such corruption based upon the spoils system.  (The spoils system is basically giving people government jobs because they helped you out or agree with you politically.)

In the next presidental election, James Garfield is chosen as the Republican candidate.  However the Party has two factions.  Garfield is a Half-Breed.  To appease the other faction, the Stalwarts, Chester Arthur is nominated as VP.  Long story short, they win.  Garfield becomes the 20th President and Arthur becomes the 20th Vice President.

All is fine and dandy until Garfield is assassinated.  He was shot on July 2, 1881, but he just would not die.  Nowadays, the VP would step in pretty much right away as an interim president.  At the time, there was not so clear an idea of what to do, and Arthur was reluctant to appear to be grabbing power.  This was alright, because Congress wasn't in session anyway.  Garfield did finally die on September 19, and Arthur ascended to the presidency.

The single most important act of his time in office was the passage of the Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act.  With great irony, the Stalwart president rose above factions of his party and signed a bill that began to combat the Stalwart-favored spoils system.  Other than that, nothing all too important occurred.

He put in a bid for reelection in 1884 but wasn't renominated by the Republicans.  He later died of Bright's Disease and is the most recent president to never have a vice president.

And if all that logically laid out argument wasn't enough, Mark Twain agrees with me.  He said, "It would be hard indeed to better President Arthur's administration.

And so this concludes my reasoning for claiming Chester Alan Arthur, 21st President of the United States, to be my favorite out of all men to lead this country.  He may not have been the "best" nor the most effective in passing all of his agenda, but he is and probably will always be my boy.

P.S. Don't think that this is the last you'll see of Chester Arthur here.  There's more to discuss.  :)