Facial Hair

William Howard Taft is the last president to have facial hair in office. Between Lincoln and Taft (11 presidents), 9 presidents had a moustache and/or beard. Lincoln has quite possibly the most famous beard in America. Andrew Johnson was clean shaven. Ulysses S. Grant had an admirable beard. Rutherford B. Hayes has the undoubtedly best beard of all the presidents. James Garfield had a beard that isn't one to scoff at. Chester Arthur and his "Chester Arthur" or "Friendly Mutton Chops" probably forms the greatest facial hair of history. Grover Cleveland had a regular moustache. Benjamin Harrison had a hobo beard, but it worked for him. William McKinley was clean shaven. Theodore Roosevelt has his moustache, which looks much better than any other moustache I've seen. And lastly, Taft has his moustache as well. Before Lincoln's administration, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, and Zachary Taylor all had sideburns.

But since then, we haven't had a single president with any form of maintained facial hair. The closest we've gotten is Nixon and his persistent five o'clock shadow. Why can't a man just man up and grow a beard? You could even just be fashionable to our times and get a goatee, or a soul patch, or a neck beard! But come on, presidents! We need a new era of facial hair!

Perhaps we just need to restart the cycle. A president needs to go for some sideburns, then a couple other presidents will do the same later. And then before you know it WHAM era of Republican beards and Democrat moustaches. Or you can break down party lines this time, let everyone grow a beard, moustache, or friendly mutton chops as they desire, regardless of their political affiliation! In fact, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Article VII might just require this desegregation of facial hair.


On the off chance someone in the White House reads this:
Mr. Obama, you promised us change. Now stop being so conservative and give us a liberal dosage of facial hair!