Assassinations: Part 1

Earlier today I was fretting a bit, because it was day 2 of having this blog and I didn't have a clue what to talk about today. I finally settled on the Election of 1880, but then I was considering how to work in the assassination of Garfield and such and well long sentence and thought process short, I decided to discuss 2 assassination attempts.

First, and chronologically last, is the attempt on Theodore Roosevelt's life in 1912 as he was running as a candidate for the Progressive (Bull Moose) Party, when he failed to recieve the Republican nomination. At this point in time, TR already managed to show how badass he was. He shot stuff, he led a group of horseless cavalry to take a hill, and he busted up some trusts. But then he was campaigning for a third term (prior to the 22nd Amendment, of course) and giving a speech in Milwaukee when a man named John Schrank fired a gun at him. Schrank was aiming at Roosevelt's head, but a bystander deflected the gun and the bullet hit him in the chest. It passed through 50 pages, folded, and his glasses case, but still lodged 3 inches deep.

Teddy didn't know that he was shot until someone else pointed out the bullethole in his coat. Badass.

He went on to give the speech anyway, before going to a hospital and not dying. The assassination attempt failed, as did the campaign. But that's another blog.


Second is the attempt on Andrew Jackson's life. It is important to the tale to recall that the badassness of Andrew Jackson surpasses that of TR. Without trouble. On January 30, 1835, Jackson was leaving a funeral that had taken place in the capital when Richard Lawrence stepped out and attempted to shoot him with a pistol, but it misfired. Lawrence pulled out a second pistol which also misfired. A beatdown was then put upon his ass by the president himself. No declaration of war from Congress required.

Later the pistols were tested to determine what went wrong. They never failed again, so people of the time said Jackson was protected by Providence, just like the nation. In modern terms, "THANKS BE TO NONDENOMINATIONAL DEITY (OR LACK THEREOF) FOR SAVING THE PRESIDENT!" Other people theorize that humidity caused the pistols to fail.

The fact of the matter is, the bullets were just as afraid of Andrew Jackson as everyone else.






Part 2 tomorrow, featuring Charles Guiteau!